By: Loren and Arjeana Due
What I am about to share with you is part of my life story. This part is probably the most critical when it comes to how I have chosen to live for the Lord. I have made up my mind to live for the Lord regardless of what my family or friends do or say. When I was eleven (11) years old I was saved (confessed Jesus as my Lord, baptized in Jesus Name and spoke in tongues as the spirit gave utterance) for my parents sake but when the Lord gave me a second chance that all changed and my commitment is from my heart to serve the Lord with gladness of heart and purity of mind. Much opposition has come my way from my family but that has only made me stronger to trust the Lord and go forth to proclaim His Word.
As a young child of about three to six years old I was fondled by my father a Pentecostal preacher who would finger me by saying he was “Diddling me” which is a phrase that has stuck with me all my life. Not only has the phrase stuck with me but the foul smell of it has stayed in my head. To think I grew up in a home where my mother worked three jobs to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table is painful. Our families’ dysfunctionality included my brother abusing me when he was a teenager; I am nine (9) years younger than my brother and eight-teen (18) years younger than my sister.
The abuse by my brother occurred in a bedroom shared by the three of us siblings when we lived in a two-bedroom house. We moved from a two-bedroom house to a three-bedroom house that afforded my parents to have a room, my sister had her room and my brother and I shared a room. During the time we lived in the latter home I became promiscuous as a result of the sexual abuse, rape and incest. Most people I understand turn to drugs or alcohol, but I immersed myself in sex.
I discovered later in my life after our family moved from Southern California to Northern California that one of my childhood sex partners died of AIDS at the age twenty (20). That could have been me! We spent the first ten (10) years of life together as buddies along with other boys and girls in our neighborhood that I incorporated in our group. We did some of everything sexual that you could Imagine and other things. While saved and sanctified I participated in the raunchiest and vilest acts imaginable; I was so determined not to give my family church a bad name I left it and joined a local Baptist church where I lived so that I could do what I wanted to do. For sixteen (16) years I lived a double life; I played the grand piano for church on Sunday and played the male whore through the week.
The sixteen (16) years ended when I heard the voice of the Lord speak to me and said it was “TIME!” It was time to live for the Lord and leave my filthy ways behind me. In one day as a married man of twenty (20) years when I heard the Lord speak to me I was able to let go of all my vices:
- Side girl-friends (7)
- Side boy-friends
- Side transgender friends
- Sex club
I believe the three most important things that came out of me getting on the straight and narrow path was (1) being able over time to forgive my father and brother of what they had done to me (God removed the murdering spirit out of my heart and taught me how to love), (2) I was able to live a celibate and abstaining life for the first time in my life while I waited before Lord for a wife of his choice and (3) finally able to truly live for the Lord for myself instead of my parents – I truly Love the Lord. The thing that I learned the most from all my time of debauchery from the Lord is that I had the ability to not only commit to myself but to my wife that I would be faithful. I learned that I could be faithful first to myself and then to my wife because I learned through the Holy Spirit how to apply this verse to my life: 1 Corinthians 9:27 (KJV) 27 But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
I learned self-discipline and was able to forgive my father and brother for the child sexual abuse they did to me as a young child. Once my memory was refreshed and no longer repressed I was able to remember why I wanted to kill my father and brother. The Holy Spirit through prayer and fasting was applied to my life and with the assistance of my wife I was able to forgive my father and brother. Through the word of the Lord I discovered that my father and brother was my enemy and I had to love them in spite of what they had done to me. This is became the ultimate Spiritual Cleansing removed from my heart and soul – hate and murder.
The key scripture that brings the transformation is Matthew 5:43-45 (KJV) 43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. In order to understand the scripture you must replace the word “neighbour” with friend or family and replace the word “enemy” with father or brother as was my case.
Once you do the confession of forgiveness and release the pain and anguish to the Lord it takes the Holy Spirit to do the work by cleansing your spirit and transforming you. After the confession of forgiveness is complete then it is necessary to have the prayer of faith prayed over you according to James 5:14-15 (KJV) 14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. I called for my wife who was ordained the same day I was to pray over me and the Lord raised me up and delivered me from the hand of the enemy. After the prayer of faith was applied to my life the knot that had been in my stomach area for over thirty (30) years disappeared.
In order to receive the Spiritual Cleansing you must:
- acknowledge the offence
- forgive the offender
- forgive yourself
- let go of the pain and anger
- release all things out of your spirit that is not like God
- repent and/or confess all sin to God
- know that God has forgiven you
- receive the prayer of faith which brings about restoration
Are you ready for your Spiritual Cleansing?